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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Roller Coaster Ride!

The cart trembled beneath my feet like an angry volcano about to erupt as we neared the first corner. My hands gripped the handle bar as if it was a pound note absent mindly given to a street begger. My heart was beating so fast it seemed it might get up at any moment and sprint away. A woosh of air escaped my lungs as I was thowen into the air. The cart looped the loop and the air piercing screams of the passengers filled the air. My hair was flung behind me as the cart screetched across the flat track it seemed that it was clawing to go backwards to the safety of the ground. The smell of candyfloss and hotdogs wofted in the air around me making my tummy rumble with tremendous force. I looked to the end of the ride like an athelet looks for the finish line. One more corner I repeated to myself. My hands were sweating making it as difficult to hold on as it is to hold on to a wet bar of soap. The cart growled like a hungry moster awaiting its prey as it screetched around the final corner to stop in a standstill at the ticket desk. The clang of the handlebars were lefted and I jumped out like a prison inmate might do if an oppourtunity of escape was presented to them.

3 comments:

Casey said...

That was an extremely good paragraph, it was very detailed. How you described the sweaty hands, and the smells, sights, and sounds was mind blowing! Good job Jemima

Sami said...

That was a great paragragh and thought your usage of similies and metaphors were great. I could really feel like I was there as a rider. Good Job

Sami said...

I thought that was good Jemima. I really could hear the rollercoaster and could feel like i was watching/sitting in.I think that you used great sound devices and it was great. Good Job! You could use Hyperboles or sound like CRASH. But its good witout it. Good job kiddo!!